Green Acres Bliss

In The Country No One Can Hear My Screams

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Fishpond: 1 Me: 0

Last week Oliver brought me home a gift.

Leather work gloves...

He used to bring me home flowers. *sigh*

This morning he was gone so I decided to put those work gloves to use in the yard. A shower, 2 shades of eyeshadow, and 4 different kinds of hair product later(hey a gals gotta look good), I was ready to go. To go get coffee anyways... You see I don't make great coffee. I make good coffee. Oliver makes the great coffee and hes not home. Coffeeshop you say? Well thats easily going to take me 45minutes round trip. Gas Station coffee it was!

I put on my work gloves and drank my coffee. All good work gloves should first be broken in with a good relaxing cup of coffee. While surveying the yard I decided that I could start raking leaves and then burn them. I hate raking and Ive never in my life burned leaves. This would require building a fire.

So I managed to get a fire started without starting myself on fire, or falling into the fire. No one has ever left me build my own fire. This is personal growth people. I got about 2 piles of leaves together and started burning them by the time Oliver got home. He had a sparkle in his eye. That "shes doing yard work!" sparkle.

I went to work around the little koi pond disgusting wreck of pond scum. The pond area is about my second favorite place in the yard. Its a little pond surrounded by rocks and plants. Its been filled with disgusting pond scum and a wooden floating duck since I got here but my goal is to fix it up so it looks nice next year. So I started moving the rocks around and pulling weeds. I got this brilliant idea that I needed to reline the edge of the pond and the garden next to it with rocks. A little voice in my head spoke up and said "If you mess with that pond you're going to fall in". I of course promptly told that voice to shut it and went about my business anyways. Well, it was right. I did fall in. Just a foot, but do you know how bad that one foot smells? Like pond scum, or crap if you're unfamiliar.

This whole time Oliver is blowing leaves around the yard and Im pretty focused on my new little rock garden. Oliver will tell you I was playing with rocks to avoid doing leaves. I of course know that is ridiculous.

In my archaeological conquest in my new found rock garden I dug up all kinds of stuff. Someone did think it was appropriate to bury broken pottery. If history has taught us anything its that pottery survives. This stuff doesn't compost(oh compost, thats coming isnt it?). I don't know what they were thinking but I learned to not garden without gloves. Ok I don't garden. I cant keep anything alive. Like I said, dirt's not my thing.

Eventually Oliver sucks me into using the leaf blower right after he teaches me how to use it. This is about the same time as the kids get off the bus and come up the drive. I couldnt hear them but I know they were begging Oliver for a turn with the blower. But alas, I blew leaves for an hour. That does not do good things to your body. Why do people use those things! My arm still feels crazy from all the vibrating.

I told Oliver about my trip into the pond tonight around the fire. He laughed so hard I thought he would fall over. Im glad someone thought my smelly foot was funny.

I was also informed that theres a giant angry woodchuck out back that Oliver is going to shoot very soon.

Oh boy


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