Home on the range?

Ive become obsessed with the idea of owning cows.

Part of my mild OCD tends to make me focus obsessively on one idea for days once it pops into my head. It would be awesome if it worked on things like Algebra or Chemistry, but it doesnt.

And so Ive compulsively researched all aspects of owning cows. Theres almost no way to make money at this and of course we cant actually afford to buy/feed/care for a cow but that doesnt stop my brain from running wild with the idea.

Oh yeah, Ive never even touched a cow.

They dont seem very scarey, and they seem kind of like they take care of themselves if you put them out to pasture. As long as they have water and dont get sick.

But what the hell do you do with it once you have it, besides feed it and grow it, etc? I'm NOT milking a cow. THAT scares me. I fear I would grow attached to it as a pet and then not want to use it for beef. So then what? I spend the next 10 15 20 years with a pet cow? I obviously dont even know how long a cow lives.

Now how about chickens? I would like to have fresh eggs even though I dont eat eggs, and I HATE chickens so I dont think I would get attached as a pet. But therein lies the problem, I HATE chickens. They are the most annoying, stupidest farm animal on earth and if I have to go out the the barn in the sun, rain, snow, and sleet, I would at least like to open the barn door to see an animal I like. Thats not a chicken.

I feel like we have 14 acres we should be doing something with. I just dont know what to do with all this pasture and forest.

I dont know how farming would work considering 90% of my shoe collection is sandles, and fairly expensive 4inch heels in various styles.